Seems this is becoming all to common but here we go again. The day before Beer Cross we were hanging out at the shop and decided it was time for the usual Dark Horse Cycles Saturday drunken phone call and the winner was Hawaiian Mike Davidson. After the usual banter everyone at the shop was pumped up to hear Hawaiian Mike confirm that he was "absolutely in" and "wouldn't miss it for the world". There was more enthusiasim in his voice then a 14 year old about to lose his virginity. Well we guess there was a case of premature - well you know what - and come race day guess who didn't show up. Here is what our (my) twisted minds came up with for plausible excuses -
Cheerleading At The NAMBLA RallyGiving The Weekly PedicureCleaing Up His Man CavePost Dump DetoxHoney Do'sMore Honey Do'sAnd Even More Honey Do'sPaying The Price For Not Folding The Laundry Correctly
Okay loyal fans of the New East Coast Syndicate, after a week of waiting with baited breath here is the down and dirty on what will go down as the Non Race of the year and is sure to be future classic along the lines of Paris-Roubaix. I awoke from a night of sleep with all of the anxiety and excitement of a 6 year old on Christmas Day, at long last it was time for Beer Cross '09 and we had been blessed by the Cyclocross gods.....there was 4 inches of fresh snow on the course and 5 - 30 packs of PBR in the back of the pickup chilled to perfection from a night out in the snow. All we needed now was some cowbells and Belgian waffles and UCI certification would be all but guaranteed. Sometime during the night Shop Sidekick rambled out onto the course and added a bit of excitement with the Snowman Chicane. Knock one done and it's beer drinking time!With so much at stake everyone was out early pre riding the courseto get a better feel of the traction and to try and best memorize the layout. The big dogs (Montelbano & Shop Sidekick) had the race faces going and mumbling about how they were going to rock the course and for good reason. At stake was this fine display of hardware that included limited edition Gogi berry influenced number plates, pint glasses and awesome yeastly malted beverages.What they had failed to realize was this was a New East Coast Syndicate production and the non rules had stacked the deck heavily in favor of the drinkers. There was only one dizzy bat and it had to be shared by 6 riders so the start was going to be critical.
Pit Stop Beverage Of ChoiceBraveheart - Fully Authentic ScotsmanThe Mayor, Still Suffering The Effects Of Shenandoah Syndrome, Adjusts His Panty HoseThe overnight snows had resulted in the morning ride be cancelled so most everyone was at the course early putting in the laps and sizing up the competition while we waited for the arrival of Sal with the race swag - beer coolers. Sergant Sal With The OrdnanceThe Coveted DHBX CoozyThe Mayor Showing Us Who Is In Charge (Think Max from the Grinch That Stole Christmas) At the non race meeting everyone listened with interest to the non rules which were fairly simple. Le Mans start with a 100' run to the bikes where you either chugged an icy cold Dale's Pale Ale or 10 times around the bat before mounting up and heading onto the race course. With the command of racers ready coming from the day's MC, Top Chef, Jocelyn immediately straight armed Monte to win the sprint to the bat.Meanwhile the intelligent racers grabbed their beers
Transition Chugwith C-Dubs finishing his Dale's first and heading out onto the course.
Landshark Off In The LeadMeanwhile back at the bat Monte finished up and after coming off the bat veered sharply off to the right before a crash and burn in the snow. This was followed by a bit of stumbling around in confusion before finally locating his bike and heading out almost a lap down to the drinkers. The rest of the non drinkers did not fair all that much better. Shop Sidekick Comes Off The Bat And Right Onto The GroundOut on the race course it was Senor Agua taking the lead from the Landshark and showing skills that only a free range totally organic chicken could possess - opening each lap's beer with a beek. Beer StopMonte Showing His Form On The Bat The Landshark "Fins" His Bike For The Barrier SectionAs the alcohol flowed and the snow balls flew everyone lost count of the laps and the race disintegrated into a free for all with Friar Rossi (aka 3 beer) well over the limit and tackling riders all over the course. By the time the last snow ball had been thrown and race beer chugged it was too close to call. If there was a reward for suffering the most it would have gone to Montelbano for the post race hangover from going around the bat some many times (that will teach you to come prepared to drink next year). Mike was heard mumbling something about the SM100 being less painful. Monte Sporting The Post Non Race Hangover2009 Beer Cross Group ShotFinally the judges came from their chambers with results in hand. 1st Senor Agua, 2nd Braveheart, 3rd The Mayor, 4th Friar Rossi. And here is the post non race podium interview.
Here are some of the featured sections for Sunday's Beer Cross. Classic cyclosscross course with lots of yellow tape, twisty sections and barriers. Tree SlalomGrowler Barriers S-Turns
So here we are with one week to go to the greatest Non Race of the century - are you in or out? This weekend saw countless hours of toil by Braveheart and C-Dubs, creating number plates that are sure to grace the walls of the Guggenheim. Here is a glimpse of Braveheart, after hours of Dales and gogi berry chasers working on the plates. For those that are in there is a total of 25 of these limited edition number plates that are there for the taking to the first to register. Oh yeah registration starts at 10:00 am and ends when we are all ready to race.
The format is pretty straight forward, race and drink. Here are the non rules
6 lap race Alcohol consumption can be substituted for non drinkers - 1 beer = 10x around the dizzy bat Non Racers will be DSQed for not doing one or the other No penalty for puking Costumes Mandatory – 10 minute or 3 beer penalty at the start for not wearing one the entire race LeMans Start Mandatory beer prior to mounting bikes Mandatory beer per lap Dismounting mandatory at the Growler Barriers (2 beer per barrier penalty for not dismounting) Skipping the Tea Totaler Teeter Totter is 1 beer or 1 shot (tequila) penalty First across the finish line in the riding portion has to do a shot of tequila Winner is determined by fastest time/most beer consumed/best costume and Mayor's discretion
With any of these trips there is always those moments that don't really fit into the story but at the time were amusing enough to warrant taking a picture so here you go...... A Mayoral Moment Visit from the ChinamanKing TuckHere's To Getting F.I.S.T.ed
It's official - if you are a connisseur of the bizarre (you have to be if you hang out with C-Dubs) and a member of the Dark Horse Racing team then this is the event for you!!!!! To kick off the winter non race season and to christen the new home of Dark Horse Cycles, the NECS in conjunction with Dark Horse Cycles, will be hosting the first annual Dark Horse Cycles/NECS Beer Cross Non Race. The rules are simple, first non racer to complete the 6 laps wins. To get to the finish there will be a number of obstacles to navigate with the highlights being the Growler Barrier, the Tea Totaler Teeter Totter, and the PBR per lap check point (for those that do not drink we will offer the dizzy baseball bat option). Costumes are mandatory and will be supplied from the racks of the new Dark Horse Cycle Barn. Final results will be certified by the Mayor and bribing of the judge is highly encouraged. This is one not to miss and has received the C-Dubs "This is Truly the Stupidest Thing I Have Done" certification.
Tuesday 10/13 – While the cycling might have come to an end the partying was still going full force and following the C-Dubs mantra for the trip – Go Big or Go Home. Since the flight wasn’t until Wednesday it was hammer time. The plan for the day was to hit Arches National Park early then shop the town and cocktail in the afternoon. To get the morning going C-Dubs immediately hit the fridge for yet another cold frosty beverage and chased it down with a reheated chicken enchilada while the rest of the crew just stood there in shock making eggs. Top Chef and C-Dubs then stirred the coals and put another log on the campfire to warm up the morning.The hike in Arches was beautiful but all of us were feeling the riding and kept to the road for most of the trip. On the 3 mile hike to the delicate arch we came across a lady hiking in flip flops and pondered who was dumber – her for choice of footwear or us for riding singlespeeds for the race.Post arches arches The plan for the evening was to take a couple of growlers of beer and a bottle of patron up to slick rock for some beers and shots while checking out the stars. Well the clouds had rolled in so the growler never made it out the front door (the same with the team) and we settled into a night of hammering beers and doing shots. The bottle of Patron added a bit of spice to the evening and we managed to catch this shot of the Mayor enjoying one of many shots.(there was denial of this ever happening put the proof is in the photo).After the Mayor stumbled into the master suite to pass out the crew decided to order in a couple of pizzas to top off the night. Well we all paid the price for that stunt and after passing out during South Park we made our way to the gas chamber where it was an all night session of groaning over bloated stomachs.
Wednesday 10/14 – With the final campfire finally put out we all piled into the van for a civilized drive across Colorado to the Denver airport and final beers before heading home. It was here that C-Dubs finally hit the wall and was caught leaving unfinished beers at each of the bars – a major faux paux. With his head hung low it truly was time to go home. By the time we all got back to home base the consensus was that this had to be one of the all time great trips/rides any of us had been on. Keep posted it looks like next year will be either Bend, BC or Santa Fe.
Monday 10/12 – After a full night of rest and more bedroom chemical warfare (at this point it has become a full on competiton) we set off for Chili Pepper Bicycles and singlespeed glory riding one of the all time classic trails, Porcupine Rim. The bikes were loaded onto Dr. Frankenstein’s version of a VW microbus or should we say buses as this was two microbuses welded into the Moab version of a stretch limo.While we were questioning the abilities of the van to make it to the end of the parking lot, our driver Jesse, assured us that we had nothing to fear on the ride up the mountain. About halfway up we ground to a halt waiting for a rider/bike exchange with one of the other shuttles when suddenly around the corner a cowgirl appeared in full chaps running the herd down the mountain. The Mayor was so smitten with her that we were sure he was going to offer to let her hog tie and brand him as one of her own.Despite the shuddering and gear grinding, true to Jesse’s word, we made the final pitch to the base of Hazard where all of us were more then happy to be out of the limo and ready for the final climb to the summit (where C-Dubs demonstrated how to crash going up hill) before over 4 hours of downhill singletrack. Once over the summit it was time to rock and roll as we snapped the wrists of many a dual suspension rider on the drop to the Colorado River. On Upper HazardNotch GuppyThe Team Ponders What Could Have Been At The RaceThe ride back to town was punctuated with a lot of high fives and a stop for a 12 pack to take the dust out of our mouths and celebrate the end of 4 fantastic days of riding. Back at the hacienda it was time to break down and pack up the bikes, light a campfire and prep for another round of margaritas at La Hacienda where the Mayor was to lose his margarita virginity.
Well loyal NECS/Dark Horse Racing fans, after a prolonged stay in detox to cleanse our bodies of all the alcohol ingested during our stay in Moab I am able to release, as complete as my altered mind can remember, our race report on the 24 Hours of Moab (or in this case the 14:22 of Moab). Thursday 10/8 The NECS & Dark Horse Racing troops received deployment orders for an all out assault on the 24 hours of Moab. Arriving at 0700 hours at Newark International Airport. The troops, freshly fueled with coffee and agave, set out on the first leg of the battle – Oskar Blues Brewery. Our commander and spiritual guru, the wily Mayor, through his connections at Specialized, had managed to procure a private tour/tasting at perhaps the best the brewery and tasting room west of the Mississippi, home of the beverage of choice for DH Racing – Dale’s Pale Ale.The original plan was to tour the brewery, sample copious amounts of fine yeasty malted beverages, and then roll out onto the local trails with the staff at Oskar Blues and finally settle down to a full on Mexican feast. Well an early season snow quickly derailed Plan A so after a quick bull session we hatched Plan B – spend more time touring the brewery, drink even more Dale’s and sample some of the yet to be released beers. The Man Enjoying A Dale's Chad Melis Hooking Us Up With Fresh Ones Top Chef Thinking He Had Died And Gone To Heaven The New Dark Horse Cycles Mantra Chad Melis, our guide for the tour, tipped off by the drool coming off the Mayor’s bottom lip, quickly steered us over to the quality control area where we stood, mouths agape, as this wonderful machine rejected any beer that did not meet the strictest standards (temp, volume, etc.).Cans that didn’t hold up to the high standards of Dale’s were immediately knocked off the conveyor into the reject bin, which the team then volunteered to empty into their stomachs. There is nothing finer then a freshly brewed and canned beer, chilled to 31 degrees going down your throat. With the team fully lubricated and a case of Dale’s under the Mayor’s arm it was time to hit the brew pub for a full on Mexican meal and even more Dale’s. Levels of sobriety were put to the test with 3 Beer Rossi spilling all over himselfand the Mayor scaring off women and children as he consumed anything and everything in sight. Top Chef doing his impersonation of Hannibal Lecter /a>
By the time everyone had pushed the last black bean or nacho down their pie hole we realized that our meal had created the perfect storm – 4 beer swilling men filled to the brim with food that would ensure maximum production of ass gas and trapped in a 15 passenger van/gas chamber for the ride to Moab. Once on the road a very happy (read that buzzed) Mayor and Top Chefbegan the incessant demands of children on a long car ride with repeated whines for ice cream (Mayor) and Starbucks (Top Chef). As we rolled by Leadville our prayers were answered with coffee, ice cream, gasoline and a crapper that could stand up to the tortures of 4 rounds of Mexican lunch. With 3 Beer lagging behind it was a scramble into the van and as we rolled out to the highway a chorus of “Run Forest Run” echoed in through the valleys of the Rockies as Rossi dove into the van. Worn out from the beers, ice cream and comedy of the moment the Mayor slipped off to the back of the bus for a nap. Meanwhile up front the Garmin gave us the cold slap of reality that what had been billed by Hawaiian Mike as a 4 hour drive was in reality going to be closer to 7 hours. This meant only one thing, pedal to the medal, and an perhaps a new 15 passenger van land speed record.Continuing to sample the Dale’s as we crossed the state and having full insurance on the van C-Dubs was tempted to see just how well one of these run off ramps actually worked. As our journey took us across the plains of we decided it was time to make the Mayor pay for the early pass out by continually turning the rear temperature control between full on Mojave and Witch’s tit cold.Well the Mayor responded with the only weapon he had, completely defying the Geneva Convention in the process and unleashing a massive cloud of black bean and nacho gas (with a hint of Oskar Blues Old Chub).The initial “shot heard ‘round the van” unleashed an all out battle of the bungholes with every man for himself until we finally rolled into Moab with the final consumption tally of 19 Dale's Pale Ale and 6 oz of Del Maguay Tobala. There it turned into a battle for control of the only toilet in the condo and the remnants of the case of Dale’s, which would be the last time we would have non 3.2 % beer until our flight home.
Friday 10/9
The peace and serenity that one would expect to get after an adventure like yesterday’s was shattered in the middle of the night as Rossi and Top Chef’s lower intestines rebelled at the quantities and qualities of Mexican food they were attempting to digest. Shortly after the initial salvo C-Dubs was off to defile what was left of Mt. Kohler before residing to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. First stop was the local drive thru coffee shop where Rossi and C-Dubs, after a shot of espresso, immediately showed their rodeo skills.Then it was off to breakfast.....hopefully the menu wasn’t an omen of what lay ahead.Thoroughly stuffed with a Tex-Mex breakfast and jacked up on several pots of coffee it was back to the condo to – yes the continuing battle of Mt. Kohler – and put the bikes together. It didn’t take long for the boys to be on the ground laughing as C-Dubs struggled with the mounting of the lefty, dropping a critical O-ring in the process. Unable to locate the washer despite turning the place upside down. Everyone got a great laugh when the washer turned up stuck to the sole of C-Dubs hiking boot. Next up was a pair of bent rotors compliments of Fed Ex, looked like it was time for a shopping extravaganza at Poison Spider, the place for bike parts in Moab.Next it was off on the course where we were greeted with some beautiful but sandy single track before turning uphill towards a rock formation known as “The Fins” where Top Chef showed how to rip up the technical stuff. Generally everyone chilled and rode at a nice easy pace checking out the climbs and wondering how the hell we were going to make it through a section we called the “elevator shaft” where the course plunged close to 100’ in less the 50 feet and featured a couple of ledges with drops of 4-8 feet and an equally grueling climb up the other side. Mini Seagal Bailout PointOnce out of the shaft it was off to some sweet rolling double and single track where C-Dubs took off looking for pointers from the female riders on the course. With a lap in the books it was time to head to the Moab Brewery for some yeasty malted beverages and burgers to prime the pump before heading out to one of Moab’s classic rides – Sovereign. Armed with the latest and lightest in technology the troops set out on Sovereign looking to snap the wrists of any unsuspecting riders. Top Chef again kicked some serious ass over the technical terrain and C-Dubs looked to be getting into the groove until a misplaced wheel resulted in first blood.Shortly after this the rest of the team learned the secret to C-Dubs endurance racing abilities....simply drop a quarter in the slot and watch the man pedal for hours on end!Being highly trained and disciplined athletes we immediately set about carbo loading with a couple of 6 packs and some pizza before a final check of the bikes where it was discovered that the horrifying noises coming from C-Dubs brakes was a complete lack of pads – just metal on metal! A couple of runs to Poison Spider (top East Coast mechanic, the Mayor, sent us off for the wrong pads the first time) and everything was back in order.
Saturday 10/10 - Sunday 10/11
After another night of chemical warfare and continuing assaults on Mt. Kohler Saturday morning dawned with an emergency broadcast alert about a hole being burned in the ozone right above our condo – hmmmmm wonder what could have caused this? Next it was the men versus the boys with 3 Beer and C-Dubs getting a jump with an attitude adjuster while Top Chef and the Mayor grumbled over a cup of coffee (yes it is 5:55am).We rolled into the race shanty town confident that our van would serve as the perfect base of operations over the next 24 hours having stocked it with copious amounts of food, clothing, bedding and of course beer. Based on the Pythagorean theorem of 3 (3 benches for 3 riders to rest, 1 rider on the course) the team relaxed in the glowing sunshine of the desert, focusing all of the energy of Shanty Town into our inner cores to ensure maximum carnage would be inflicted on the competition.As we rested and prepared for the battle at hand we soon came to the realization that our calculations were seriously flawed and we were fast running out of food (but not beer)......and the race had not even started! On top of this, most of the competition around us had cooking facilities, comfortable sleeping quarters, and campfires ready for the cold night ahead. Our fears now turned from the race to simply surviving the next 24 hours and having this guy camping next to you brought out visions of Mad Max and The Great Humungous terrorizing us for the last of the Dale’s Pale Ale! The impending race coupled with the miscalculations on basic needs was raising the stress levels amongst some of the team requiring a quick visit to the back of the van to apply the proper medicationsFinally with the hands of the clock sweeping toward 12:00 pm the first of our warriors (the Mayor) was jumping around like an over-caffeinated Rhesus monkey as he headed to the back of the van for a final round of Prep H, some deep introspection and extreme mental focuswith the goal of channeling his psychic powers to bending fork stanchions rather then spoons.
The Mayor Prepping For Battle Meanwhile back at the campsite Top Chef and C-Dubs set about securing alternative sources of firewood. Lucky for us right next door was Team Towelie with this fine craft of the wasteland complete with a solar paneland we were able to now take comfort in knowing no matter what lay in store over the coming hours we were ready unlike 3 Beer who stripped his seat clamp bolt and faced the prospect of riding a lap with a BMX setup. A quick run to the Mavic tent with $20 and a Dale’s proved to be the winning combination and with minutes to spare before the Mayor’s arrival from lap one he was set.
One by one we circled the course and by the end of the first round of laps we were secure in knowing that a) we were not DFL (team F.I.S.T. was) and b) if we slipped to DFL it was time to party on!
The Friar Coming InVenturing out into the setting sun on his vision quest night lap was the Mayor, who somewhere in the darkness under went a spiritual transformation. (Shoshoni tribal legend warns that when you are in the high desert of Moab and crack open a beer, the sound of the bottle cap hitting the desert floor awakens the nocturnal mountain bike Ewok. You must then guard your cold beer with your life or else watch your cold swill mysteriously disappear.) Well it seems that all the celebrating after the first round of laps had awakened this mighty creature.
Hey Buddy Can You Spare A Dime As Friar Rossi rolled in from his night lap it was evident that the Ewok of Moab had used the force to disable the Friar’s head lamp and post a faster time. Sitting down for the Ewok’s favorite beverageboth agreed “no moar night laps, this sucks” and further noted that the dust was so bad it was like riding through sea of plankton at night.
While the Ewok and Friar were less then enthusiastic about the conditions C-Dubs searched for any form of inspiration/motivation for the late night laps. Resting, he looked up in the dark and there on the ceiling of the van was all the inspiration any man would need, perhaps enough for multiple night laps. As Top Chef rolled in from his lap C-Dubs provided an update on the mental state of the Ewok and Friar Rossi and in a moment of complete delirium (probably from staring at the siren for so long) volunteered to do a double or even triple night lap to keep ahead of team F.I.S.T. By the time his night lap was over (also losing power to his head lamp) at 2:30 am the response to moar laps was a simply NO. At this point morale was hitting new lows with the Mayor, in a flash of pure genius, coming up with these classics - “we really are fucking dopes for trying to do this on singlespeeds”, “this course sucks”, “look at the mud pie that just came out of my nose!”, “”I’m going to cry”, “here I am, a 56 year old living in the back of a van” and right before going off the deep end this final rant “here’s to that stupid f@*cking guy behind the rock. I’m having a beer and you’re not”. All Top Chef could muster was “you would see me riding a 650B before I would ride that first 5 miles at night again”. As soon as C-Dubs climbed into the van for the night an immediate call went out for a round of cold frosty beers to lift the spirits and relieve the pain of knowing we had all just been F.I.S.T.ed for the first time. Having done the last lap and then getting stuck with the driver’s seat as a bed (remember the Pythagorean theorem of 3) I did want any tired sane individual would do, kept tending to the campfire and ordering up more beers from the Mayor until about 5:00 am which elicited this response After about of an hour of farting and sleeping the troops rallied outside, went down to the scoring tent to see how bad it was (we were only 1 lap down) and then it was back to the van to weigh up the viability of going out for another lap. With no one able to make a decision C-Dubs was quick to state “I did the last lap so it’s not my round” and then was even quicker at grabbing a cold one from the cooler to celebrate the sunrise. This proved to be the cue for the rest of the team and within minutes the race was over and this was the scene at the back of the vanNote 3 Beer Rossi two fisting at 7:00 am By 9:00 am the bikes were in the van, the cooler was empty and we were rolling back to town and the comfort of a hot shower and clean clothes. No sooner had we finished cleaning up then it was off to town for a bit of shopping to lift the spirits after a long night. Feeling tired from having his 24 hour cherry popped, the Mayor decided to head for the condo. On the drive back C-Dubs got the call from Friar Rossi and Top Chef that La Hacienda had margaritas that would take all of the pain away. Well friends I came close to breaking the land speed record to get there and immediately settled in for a few rounds with the gang (sans Mayor who was getting his beauty sleep). The day finally closed out with a massive and civilized dinner prepared by Top Chef after which we settled in to watch some football, or for some of the team the inside of their eyelids.
Ace reporter Hawaiian Mike and his cougar for life, Katie C, recently caught up with the NECS/Dark Horse Team during a training session and got this interview -
HM - "How is everyone holding up to the pressures of the pending race" KC - "All I know is my hands are wrapped around some serious pressure right now....prrrrrrr" HM - "Stop, this is serious" KC (looking down) - "now THAT is serious" Mayor - "burp" Top Chef - "snore" HM - "Cmom KC, this is real news, serious men training for a serious event" KC - "Pay more attention to me then those" C-Dubs - "FART" KC - "oh god that stinks, as I was saying those smelly, drunk old coots" HM - "Hey those are my friends your talking about" KC - "Alright, decision time. Me or them" HM (kicking the Mayor) - "Hey Mayor, move over and pass me a Dale's"
With the 24 Hours of Moab just 3 1/2 weeks away the team has just scored a major coup, thanks to the Mayor. Over the years pedaling bikes (both in the woods and to customers) the wily old Mayor has built up a number of friendships that have withstood the tests of time and are about to pay massive dividends for all of us on the team - a personal guided tour of Oskar Blues Brewery. And from what we are hearing it will be a lot more then just a tour, but all of that will come in the race report. To wet your appetite here is a quick preview.
After enduring over 13 hours of pain and suffering in the Shenandoah 100, all looked lost for George Zublasky when a wild mountain laurel attacked his rear derailleur and left him high on the ridge making a singlespeed conversion. Rolling into the final aide station, the only hope for completing the race was a bike swap which looked promising until the pedals could not be swapped. Through the kind generosity of a volunteer the opportunity to finish was presented to the Mayor - a Gary Fisher women's specific bike complete with the Terry Butterfly X saddle. With a bit of apprehension (and a quick adjustment of his man package)the Mayor tossed a leg over his new ride and sped off into the darkness of the Shenandoah National Forest. Upon crossing the finish line the Mayor was immediately on the phone to Terry sealing an endorsement deal for the 24 Hours of Moab. Below is a sneak peak at the ad campaign that will be running this winter.
The NECS/Dark Horse Cycles racing team deployed a full battalion of troops to take on the mountains of the Shenandoah 100 (aka S&M 100). Looking to maximize the pain that would be inflicted the full range of weapons were sent, singlespeeds, 1X9s, hardtails, full suspensions and even a 26" wheel bike. Several riders came down with multiple bikes deciding only at the last minute what to ride. To ensure the troops would have comfortable quarters and a primo place to party, Top Chef and C-Dubs packed up the only vehicle one should take to a race south of the Mason-Dixon line, the Dodge Ram 2500. As you can see, like the early pioneers heading west, our wagon was filled to the brim.Just to rub a bit of salt in the wounds and let everyone know we were on the road a quick detour was made by Dark Horse Cycles to leave a present for the Mayor.Needless to say there was a lot of driving to be done and the idea of spending 8 hours in the cab of this truck was not all that appealing. We did everything we could relieve the pain by eating a lot, consuming massive amounts of gooji berries, pretzels and cookies. Suddenly after 7 hours we came upon the only Starbucks of the entire trip. Within seconds we were hammering down massive iced espressos (with 6 shots in each) and were ready to tear it up once we secured the campsite. There was no question that this was the place to be for the race and post race party.Top Chef lived up to his billing putting out a delicious pork tenderloin dinner with brown rice and black beans.After drinking all afternoon, dining on a fine pork tenderloin and 2 bottles of red wine we took to the fields for some more partying and late night drunk dialing. As you can see I had tied one on this night but nothing quite matched the endo Paul pulled off when he hit the railroad tie while riding across the field in the dark.Top Chef is one of our lead technical gurus for bike gear and wanted to optimize the low rolling resistance set up by swithching from a 2.2 to a 1.9. Sadly it was a failed effort with the a tire so hard to get on the rim 6 new tubes were sacrificed in the effort and this was the end resultAfter changing 6 tubes Paul finally snaps and seeks his revengeNo sooner had the troops arrived then the Mayor established himself in the base camp throne and began barking orders, his favorite one being "Get me another Dale's Pale Ale - PRONTOThe long drive down and the fresh air seemed to have brought out the kinder gentler Mayor, and as we were to learn later that weekend his feminine side as well. We caught this shot of the Mayor practicing his ballet moves for "Dance of the Forest Creatures".Race day dawned cool and cloudy with temps in the mid 50s and expected to top out in the upper 70s. With the lack of rain over the past week the course was dry, fast but real dusty, everything was in place for some fast times to go down. Close to 600 riders rolled out of Stokesville campground paced by the motocross bikes and finally cut loose right after the iron bridge. With Mike Monte off the front in pursuit of singlespeed glory next up was C-Dubs and Top Chef pulling the train up the first climb and down the ensuing descent. Then suddenly there was an explosion at aide station 1 and women racers were seen running from the Port-o-John holding their noses as Top Chef stepped out and back into the thick of the racing. The sudden shedding of pounds provided a massive lift in both moral and speed and soon after Top Chef was slicing back through the field encouraging the rest of the troops to hop on his wheel for a fast pull. Over the balance of the race the entire team kept the pedals spinning, struggled with the massive climbs/walks and railed the flowing descents. By the time the dust had settled back in Stokesville and the awards were doled out it was looking like a successful day for the NECS/Dark Horse Cycles crew with Monte scoring the overall in singlespeed and C-Dubs taking 5th in masters. With everyone but the Mayor back at base with cold yeastly malted beverages in their stomachs we all waited in anticipation of the Mayor's arrival.
Mike Montalbano taking top honors in Singlespeed with a blistering 8:02C-Dubs brings it home in 9:54 and 5th in mastersMajor Mike in at 10:31 is ready for the post race pint.Marc Waters made the most of the race day entry bringing it home on the singlespeed in at 11:14Top Chef after crossing the line in 11:29 had only this to say "I finished and there is no reason to ever do this again" Looking to close out some unfinished business the Mayor strategically placed his lights and paced smartly to make the finish. What he didn't count on was the bone jarring descents that left your hands numb and filling loose. Stopping to shake a bit of life back into his hands, the Mayor looked down only to see a juicy timber rattler coiled and ready to strike. With some fast footwork that rivaled the moves of Riverdance and alerting the other riders of the dangers on the course, the Mayor did his best impersonation of Steve Irwin by picking up a rock and smashing it's head in. With the course cleared it was back to the darkening descent. Further down the trail it was a forest of derailleur eating mountain laurel that brought the Mayor to his knees, literally, as the conversion to a singlespeed commenced under the light of a full moon. Finally rolling into aide station 6 with only 12 miles to go and a chain that was dropping all the time, it was beginning to look grim. The saving grace came in the form of a Gary Fisher, and not just any Fisher bike this one was a women's specific complete with a Terry Ti Butterfly saddle!! Well over the course of the next 2 hours the Mayor became a changed man, or should I say woman, because it was a kinder and gentler George, after over 13 hours in the saddle, that crossed the finish line that day. There was some random babbling about heading to Sweden for possible sexual reassignment but we all attributed it to the Terry Butterfly mangina saddle and going all day without an I.P.A. By the fifth pint it was the good old Mayor that we know.
The heat was brutal and the 3 barrel of Blind Tiger Six Point IPA was frosty cold. The only race was to the keg, some came by car, some from bed and some even rode there. Out of the ashes, empty pint glasses and a competition to capture the ultimate buzz there emerged not one but two winners -
Memories of the suffering endured at La Ruta came rushing back like a hot kiss at the end of a wet fist this weekend. The 7th annual Dark Horse Cycles 40 presented not only the organizers, but also the racers with some of the harshest conditions remembered for race day. Humidity and temps were both in the mid 90s before the 9 am start and with all of the rain that has fallen this year the course was changed from a 2x20 mile to a 4x10 mile format. On top of this the only way to avoid the heavy mud was stay on the high ground which meant sending the course up and over every climb available in Stewart. In past years the course usually had 2000+ feet of climbing for the race, this year it was 1000+ feet per lap! Right from the start the pain and misery began for all and never let up until one either dropped out or made the four laps. Throughout the race the course was strewn with bodies of riders that had gone out too fast, not hydrated properly or succumbed to the tortuous heat. Conditions proved to be so tough that even the pros were pulling the plug by the end of the second lap. The one saving grace was knowing that the Mayor's Super Secret Rest Stop at the 8 mile mark, was being manned by the Sirens of Stewart and these ladies knew just how to make a dehydrated racer feel good - rock & roll music blaring, ice cold PBRs in the coolers and fresh blended frozen margaritas to bring down your core temperature.Along with the cold adult beverages the Sirens were handing out leis for each PBR consumed (redeemable for prizes at the finish) and hiding cash preems worth hundreds of dollars for those that still had enough mental stamina to look at anything but the trail ahead. When the course finally closed it was a stellar day for Dark Horse racing, taking to the podiums in Sport Singlespeed, Open Mens Team, Expert and Sport Masters, everyone did their best to make the Mayor proud. No sooner did I cross the line then off to the Super Secret stop where the first order of business was to drain a PBRchange into some fresh clothes and wait for my good friend 3 Beer Rossi to come through. It was the perfect excuse to have another PBR with 3 Beer(note the rider coming in behind 3 Beer with multiple leis around his neck) and get ready for the ensuing party at the finish area. Now for those of you that haven't experienced a Dark Horse race the reality is the race is really just a great excuse to have a party, and boy do the Mayor and Hawaiian Mike know how to throw one. On the menu was fresh grilled chicken, all of the sides your depleted body could desire, a freezer full of popsicles (yes in the middle of the woods we had a freezer FULL of popsicles) and of course beer, lots of beer, in fact lots of really good beer.....Harpoon! Any misery on the course quickly vanish in a sea of hops and barley. To sum it up it was a real challenge on the race course but it was one hell of a party once you finished. Bravo Dark Horse Cycles!!!!!
The 2009 Dark Horse 40 is in the books and boy was it a cooker this year. There will be more to follow in the upcoming race report. The heat and humidity were so bad riders were coming in with faces white with salt (and it was not from the margaritas being served at the aide station). For those that did make it the result of losing so many electorlytes were shocking. Here we see NECS member MacGyver before the start of the raceand here he is after finishing depleted of all salt reserves.Same MacGyver only he kept complaining about how his prostrate was flaring up like a tiki torch.
Book you flights, make your hacienda reservations, stop at the embassy for your visa and get you shots. The first annual Toad Hill Classic is on, 8/22 with a 2 pm starting time.
It has been a week since the complete sufferfest know as the Wilderness 101 took place and after a week of nonstop drinking, to drown the pain, I have finally sobered up enough to recount the horrors that were inflicted on those of us that made the finish but had less then optimal races. The year’s weather patterns continued unabated as the drive down to Coburn was all rain all the time. Along with softening up the course the rain ensured that campsite setups would be an exercise in frustration as shelters were erected and cars unloaded in the downpour. After sitting around for a couple of hours waiting to get a preride in I surrendered and went out in the rain for a brief ride. Preparation and training for the race had been right on schedule with the exception of heat and humidity which had been nonexistent this summer…..until the days leading up to the race when it suddenly changed from spring like conditions to full on summer in a matter of days. Based on the forecast for race day, heat and high humidity, I knew there was a possibility it would be a long day on the race course so just to get ready for the suffering I unleashed the dominatrix and requested a good whipping to get used to the pain. A combination of injuries and the economic downturn had trimmed the ranks of the Independent Fabrication team to just 3 participants – Jeff Whittingham in open, Mike Ramponi in singlespeed and Chris Wurster in masters, with Harlan Price nursing a broken wrist and providing moral support to the rest of us. About half way up the first 3 mile climb with the sweat already pouring off of me I knew that the high humidity (90%+) was going to make this a long race, if I survived to the finish. It was my good friends the demons and they had decided to come out and play a bit earlier then usual, oh brother is this going to be a long day of suffering! By the 20 mile aid station I had managed to stay with my primary competition and kept my head down, ground out the miles and consumed as much fluid as possible to try and stay hydrated. Despite feeling like crap I managed to pull out time on the next climb only to flat on the ensuing descent, giving back all of the hard earned time plus some extra. Lady luck was not with me and I managed to flat a second time at the summit of the next climb and finally limped into the 40 mile station with yet another flat! Still not feeling great I resigned myself to being off the podium and turned my focus on making the finish. The early cloud cover managed to give way to bright hot sunshine right as the big climbs began. The timing was perfect for getting the heat/humidity combo going at worst possible time. Despite this I continued to pound out the miles and fighting dehydration, I actually started to feel better as the race went on, taking back places over the final 45 miles of the race. My spirits were buoyed by the knowledge that short of a mechanical or a crash I was going to make it 7 straight W 101s completed. By the time I managed to get to the finish (a disappointing 7th in Masters) I was so spent and dehydrated that I couldn’t stand and my calf muscles looked like a bag full of worms squirming around. Countless beers and goji tea insured an altered state of mind that would make me forget the pain and repeated promises to myself that I would never come back again if I made the finish. Funny thing is I have made the same promise 7 times now and have broken every time the entry comes up. One of the highlights of the weekend was the last minute participation of Mrs. C-Dubs, standing in for Marci de Sade. While she only made it to the first check point before dropping she had a great time, racked up the same finishing record as the Mayor and swore to come back next year and go for the 40 mile checkpoint.
For 40 days and 40 nights the rains have lashed the surfaces of the East coast making this summer the wettest that any of us can remember. With all racers having survived the mudfests called Singlespeed-a-Palooza and Dark Horse Gallop, it was time for the crew at Dark Horse Cycles to begin laying out the course for the Dark Horse 40. With water levels not seen since the Jamestown flood the team set out with survival locator beacons and waterwings to scope out a rideable course.Immediately the speculation began on where Hawaiian Mike was and there was unanimous agreement among the troops that due to the rain Mike was is a state of bliss on the couch surrounded by doughnuts and surfing the channels for the latest Simpsons episode.Normally the 40 is a 2 lap event that spans all corners of Stewart and provides a mix of buff singletrack, short punchy climbs and smooth flowing sections that leave your mouth watering for more. The current conditions have changed all of that and the general consensus (read that to be Mayoral Mandate) was to change the format to 4 laps of 10 miles each to provide more opportunities for those with broken spirits to hit the keg a bit earlier. The day's conditions put a smile on the faces of Tom "3 Beer" Rossi and C-Dubs since there would be plenty of water obstacles to ensure neither of us (and those that got too close) would come away either dry or clean. As we set out on the first recon lap our efforts were quickly thwarted by massive flooding and deep mud with 3 Beer and Top Chef going at it in the water only to take each other out and end up taking a swim together. As we pushed on deeper and deeper into the jungle in search of the ultimate lap we suddenly found ourselves trapped by a fast flowing river of water across a spot that is normally not more then a couple of inches deep. Normally in these situations we would call up Hawaiian Mike from the back of the pack to do his Moses impersonation and part the waters in typical stylebut having missed out on the ride once again the troops had to make the leech infested crossing at full depth.Here we have the 24 Hr of Moab team (sans Mike) preparing for sudden dessert floods.Shop Sidekick showing everyone how to clear the river (and later how to service you bottom bracket and hubs).Once we had cleared the river it was out to the flats where 3 Beer and C-Dubs plotted race strategy and proper gearing with Hawaiian Mikewho provided this feedback The end result of the day's ride, soaking wet, covered in mud, all smiles and of course massive carb loading at the cooler afterwards where 3 Beer was caught flashing his gang sign
This just released grainy picture has confirmed what everyone on the Dark Horse Cycles Racing team has long suspected but never been able to confirm - Dark Horse Cycles Double I.P.A. is secretly being brewed in the the woods of Stewart State Forest by that crotchety old brewmaster - The Mayor - caught in this shot taste testing "Stupid F*#king Customer Double I.P.A.".Later in the parking lot the Mayor was heard slurring something about a "peaty taste with a hint of methane, horse manure and a beautiful puss green coloring", "pehaps the best double I.P.A. this side of Route 84". When Top Chef offered up a Dale's Pale Ale this was the Mayor's reaction -
Alp d' Minnewaska 1 - Cyclists 0. Having been shown the beast of the East, Shop Sidekick has made it his personal goal to be the first to summit the Alp on a singlespeed. This past week on yet another reconnisence run to the summit, Shop decided to have a go at the lower slopes in big ring and really put the hurt on everyone he was with. It was an impressive show and left us in awe until a sudden sweat broke and in an attempt to clear his throat he instead cleared his stomach.....all over the Alp.
Well loyal fans of the New East Coast Syndicate, this past Sunday was a continuation of the painfest of training that leads up to the Wilderness 101, a race that hurt so bad I swore never to go back yet find myself prepping for a seventh consecutive start. On the menu for the day was the fabled climb up Alp d' Minneswaska. While not quite on a scale with those of the tour, this offroad painfest serves you up a main course of 14 switchbacks and a veritcal gain of 1300+ feet in a scant 2.9 miles with several pitches exceeding 14% grade and follows with a dessert portion of another 14 switchbacks and a gain of 700+ feet in 1.9 miles. With most of the troops off doing battle at Kittatinny, Shop Sidekick (still pouting over missing the Peekamoose 100), opted for the beating to be doled out the day's ride. Warming up with a preride meeting in the C-Dubs man cave, Shop and I set out at an easy paced roll over to the base of the climb (I was still feeling a bit ragged from yesterday's 62 mile offroad racepace training ride) before paying homeage to the gods of climbing and setting off. After setting off up the trail below (this picture doesn't reflect the impending doom)it wasn't long before my legs started screaming and I was cursing the previous night's bottles of wine. In true warrior spirit I pushed on, with Shop Sidekick showing mercy and not riding off into the distance (probably because he didn't know where to go) leaving me to eat his dust. Half way up I took a gut check/lung rebuild and rested for 5 minutes listening to the frogs in the pond and thinking of the days when I was young and would have been tossing M-80s into the water. From here the trail/fireroad washe out as the pitch steepened with it tipping up to 14% at one point. We were going so slow that at one point (I believe it was a hullcination) I thought I saw an old man with walker pass me. Finally cresting the top we were blessed with a couple of miles of nice rolling singletrack before round two, the carriage road to the summit where we were blessed with this view.It was all smiles realizing that the ride home would be more then 80% downhill with speeds in excess of 35 mph being hit on the lower part of the alp. Back at the man cave it was straight to the fridge for a cold yeastly malted beverage before hitting the couch for well earned rest.
To celebrate our nation's independence day and to kick off the official training for the Wilderness 101, the NECS planned for a century ride in the back country of Ulster county. The ride featured 3 great climbs, both ways over the Shawangunks and a summmit of Peekamoose in the middle just for good measure. And to add just a bit more spice to the ride this would be self supported with no stops for food or drink, think of it as a tame version of the Bataan death march. News of the pending ride went over about as well hitting a hornet's nest with a stick and then standing there for the onslaught of stingers. There was a fair amount of interest expressed, to join in for a portion of the ride, and only Shop Sidekick was in for the long haul (as long as the Mayor closed shop for the day and with the kegerator freshly tapped hell would freeze over first) so it looked like it was going to be me and the demons only. To beat the hordes of weekend travelers that would make the climb up to Minnewaska State Park look as crowded as the Col du Galibier during a tour stage, I saddled up with a 70 oz camelbak, 4 large bottles and enough food to feed a drought stricken sub Saharan family for a week and rolled out of the driveway at 6am. The 5 mile climb was immediately followed by an equally as long high speed descent (clocked 41 mph) before the long grind into the backwoods of Sullivan County started. The silence of the ride was broken by my playlist from the Cape Epic and it was the start of the climb to the summit of Peekamoose mountain, a climb that while not steep runs on for the better part of 10 miles and takes you through a land that is straight out of Deliverance - 1st cousins married, mangy dogs and the fear that I would be enslaved to either split firewood or service some toothless hag for the remainder of my life. Safety came in the form of beer swilling and dope smoking campers lining the river in stunned silence as I pedaled by. Once over the summit it was about an hour before stopping at Jack & Luna's, Top Chefs favorite midride espresso bar, for a double shot and the climb back over Minnewaska State Park. The beauty in this ride is the last 7 miles are downhill and easy rollers to the finish where a fridge of cold beer and post ride goji berry snacks were sure to recharge the batteries. Simply put today was just Living The Dream.
Pay attention riders, the Toad Hill Classic will be coming up this summer. Preliminary course layout was worked on today.Stenger (aka Braveheart)showing his moxie on the transition
It might not have rained for 40 days and 40 nights but there has been rain for 50 of the last 67 days. That meant the normally "smooth as a Brazilian bikini wax" trails of Stewart were going to be bordering on a complete mud bog and mayhem would surely ensue. Conditions were so tough that during a pre race check of the course Hawaiian Mike repeatedly lost his footing on a section of Skip & Bill's and came up covered from head to toe but was still all smiles because he didn't spill a drop of beer. Being another "home race" the entire Darkhorse Racing team held a mandatory pre race meeting at the team headquarters where race strategy was planned and the final pounds were shed to guarantee speed on the course. Recent stories in the sports sections have noted that Real Madrid had recently paid 130 million for the rights to Ronaldo. After reading this the Mayor chuckled and was heard to comment how it only cost him a six pack of Stone IPA to obtain the services of C-Dubs from the IF crew. With contracts still being finalized and marketing rights being ironed out C-Dubs was forced to race incognito for this round as Pee Wee Herman,but was all smiles when he learned that Hawaiian Mike had a secret stash of Brooklyn Lager in the truck for post race festivities (being the wily old Mayor the keg remained untapped until C-Dubs and 650B had hit the course). Having done in my back in a big way last week at the Stoopid 50 I opted for the complete sandbagger approach and entered the sport wrist snapping class to have a fun ride with Rossi and wreck havoc on the trails. It didn't take long, with a attempt to "pants" or master of ceremonies, Hawaiian Mike, in front of the ladies class and then with the start of the singlespeeds we let the field speed off before asking if it was time to start. Casual banter ruled the opening prologue but as the mud deepened and the going got tough Rossi began to fade off the back and by the time he came out of the woods he had a look of pure guppy - Soon after it was the to the high point of the course on Major Mike (usually one of the driest sections) and it looked like this - and if you think these conditions were bad the river crossing were running so deep that the Navy Seals, returning the favor after Darkhorse Racing broke up the terrorists ring in Stewart, volunteered to assist riders with the river crossings - For Rossi the pain and suffering was only to get worse as at one point on the course riders were coming out of the trail and commenting on the crazed looking rider squatting in the bush with a boulder in his hands (aka C-Dubs)at one of the big mud holes laying in wait for Tom. The attempt failed to make a dent in the overall mud covering and it was back to riding for the finish. With so many troops on the course the Darkhorse Racing team had men and women streaming over the line like lemmings over a cliff and placing several (Walter & Bobbie) in the top 10. One look at Top Chef and our soon to be newest member Griff tells you how much fun all the men had on father's day!
The Independent Fabrication team showed up in force at the Stoopid 50 with six riders (Harlan, Elk, Greg "the leg", Buck, Vt. Jeff and Wurster) representing the spectrum of classes and putting in some solid and some not so solid rides - Harlan 3rd overall, Elk 7th in singlespeed and the rest of the crew coming in all over the place but with smiles on their faces. During a preride of the course on Saturday some of the scenery suddenly started to look very familiar (in a painful kind of way) and at the top of several different climbs I realized I was on the Wilderness 101 course. Further riding brought back more memories, this time of the 2005 Singlespeed Worlds, turns out the course was a combo of the two and if memory held true it was going to be one of the more painful rides on record. After weeks of never ending cool rainy conditions race day dawned with clear skies and warming temps making this the hottest ride of the season. The start was a controlled role out from Tussey Mountain ski area with a 2+ mile climb up the fireroad before spilling onto some beautiful singletrack and ridge riding (that is if you had time to take the scenery in). The first 4 miles of singletrack had more trees across the trails and rock gardens then I ride in a full season back home. I now realize just how spoiled we are with singletrack as smooth as glass, this was rough and raw with sections that would put a smile on your face and a half mile later have you shaking your head and commenting on how stoopid this course was. The next 25 miles of the race saw a mix of fireroads and even more singletrack with even more logs and rock gardens. At least the race ended with 12+ miles of fireroad climbing before being dumped onto a 2 mile descent that was loaded with, yes more rock gardens. With the Masters class age cut at 45 the results were painful to look at - 12th in class and a sore back from a misadjusted seat. My memory of the race is log crossings as numerous as theseand rock gardens that seemed like these
The fast rolling capabilities of the 29er wheel have proven time and again to be superior to both the 26" and 650b formats, as can be seen in the shot below of one dinosaur chasing another dinosaur on small wheels.
This weekend Darkhorse Cycles hosted an event that in the future is sure to become the benchmark for racing on the East Coast - Singlespeed-a-Palooza!!! Now any time there is an event that has the ability to set the standards, such as this one, there will be a number of non believers, but trust me my friends this is the real deal - great racing, cash prems and lots of cold beer (otherwise know as mtb nirvana) and totally kick ass singletrack riding. With a momumental event such as this there are two approaches to the racing - a) I am going to go out there and kick some serious ass or b) I am going to get a serious ass kicking by the young xc punks so it's time to party. Well my dear friends and loyal fans of the New East Coast Syndicate, it is a no brainer to tell you where my head was at -choice b. Prior to the race the latest steed in the NECS stable was equipped with the flask of Mexico's finest agave, a hula girl on the bars, a ukuele converted to a camelbak and yes the preverbial "carrot on a stick" only this was a PBR on stick to motivate me around the 20 mile course. Festivities began with the preride by the base of the climb up Major Mike where, with akido like skills, I tapped the keg of Shock Top Belgian White Ale (and a shot of Del Maguay Tobala) before rolling up to the starting line for the preride announcements. Well the horn sounded, the pro race started and I turned to the organizers to see if it was time to race. Sure enough the field was already 100 yards up the road by the time I realized I should be rolling. Well a couple of quick strums of the ukelele a shot of Tobala and it was off to the races, with one of the sport riders commenting "it sure would suck to get beaten by the guy with the beer can on his bike". The riding was sweet flowing single track that snaked through the woods and often a rider a couple of minutes ahead or behind was not more then 50 feet away. RIde I did and party along the way I did even better, with my loyal and trusty Beth being a course marshall there was no need to carry any extra yeasty malted beverages, they were ice cold at the midlap check point crying my name out. A quick chug and it was back at it until the end of the first lap at the base of Major Mike, the biggest climb of the day. To the shock of some and amusement of others it was a swig of the agave and a nice cold Shock Top Belgian before heading back out for the second lap. At this point the field was stretched out enough that riding was pretty much a solo event. While I was tempted to wait at the bridge on Skip & Bill's to give 650B another soaking the call of the unopened IPA was clawing at the base of my skull and I rode on stopping only at the wife's station for a quick wardrobe change before pushing on to the finish and the kegs. And the verdict - with over 200 riders, cash prems and lots of cold beer - Darkhorse Cycles once again showed how to host an event that surely will become the benchmark for single speed races on the East Coast. The Mayor, Shop Sidekick and Hawaiian Mike did a fantastic job and made sure we were well equipped after the race with pint glasses, tshirts and bottle openers to commerate the event. For me this was a great time, a lot of fun and a chance to really cut loose before the long distance season kicks off in two weeks with the Stoopid 50, game on!
The tears shed over the departure of my first IF were quickly forgotten when the masters from Somerville sent down this new totally kick ass deluxe singlespeed. The setup from last season's geared racing bike was so nice that I wanted to put together the ultimate wrist snapping machine, only for this one I opted for the "feel of steel". The extra weight of steel over Ti was more then offset by the Lefty carbon fork (featuring the mandatory Team Seagal sticker and using a 321 adapter), chain tension is maintained via the Paragon sliders, allowing for vertical drops and Jones H bars which aid in being able to hold a beer after a 100 mile race. All of this is topped off by a Tahitian Pearl paint job that, like a black pearl, changes from deep green to deep blue to black depending on the sun, and of course I honor my wife who supports all my racing by naming the bike after her.
With news of the foiled New York terrorist plot sweeping the nation, we are now at liberty to reveal that the NECS has been working secretly with the FBI to secure the woods of Stewart State Forest and Stewart Airbase from the ravages of Islamic fundamenalists. Making use of the training skills procured in the CIA and at the local dojo, along with recent recruit Clem (see last post), the NECS has carefully been combing the trails keeping an eye out for terrorists posing as innocent families out for a mountain bike ride. We recently came upon this "family" and after a full body cavity strip search found timers, fuses, bundles of C4, a temple ball of harsh and maps of the Stewart airbase. After hours of waterboarding with PBRs and nonstop songs from Barney, the terrorists cried out for mercy and revealed the details for the New York City plot. Score one for the U S of A & NECS! Federal agents were gushing with praise for the NECS/Darkhorse Cycles riders, pointing out that "without those beer swilling kooks it could have been another dark day for America". Soon after, Darkhorse Cycles was swarming with news crews and paparazzi where one interview with the Mayor and the New York Times was overheard -
NYT - "This is quite a story, how did you manage to pull this off?"
Mayor - "I train these boys real hard, so hard they can sniff out an unopened beer on the side of the trail from 50 yards"
NYT - "Amazing, how did you do it"
Mayor - "Shop Sidekick, pull me another draft. Oh yeah, from lots of post ride drinking. Everyone on the team has the ability to pick an IPA from a C4 bomb in a blind test. BURP. Shop, I need another draft. We also have weekly sessions at the dojo and kegerator reviewing the technigues of CIA masters such as Steven Seagal to ensure the woods are safe."
NYT - "Will this impact the participation in the upcoming Singlespeed-a-Palozza"
Mayor - "Not a chance, in fact within minutes of the story breaking the servers at BikeReg were overloaded with entries for the event. Anybody that is anybody in singlespeed riding now wants to roll with the big dogs."
NYT - "Is there anything we missed"
Mayor - "Yeah, your pint glass is stil 3/4 full, get on it man!"
For the second straight weekend the Darkhorse Racing team took to the trails of the storied Stewart State Forest to mark the course for the upcoming Single Speed-a-Palolooza. Circling the parking lot I was beginning to wonder if I had my signals crossed or if the Mayor had one too many Stone IPAs and given me the wrong time. Then pulling into the lot like a WRC rally driver was my good friend and fellow trail clown 650B. This was the confirmation that the ride was on time (650B is always a few minutes late) and that no one else decided to show. The strangest thing is that no matter who we called (Mayor & Shop Sidekick)Hawaiian Mike's voice was on the answering machine babbling something about doughnuts and making it to the ride one of these Sundays. Seems 5/16 is impersonate Hawaiian Mike day - you don't show up for the ride after making it earlier then usual - it was decided the penalty would be a growler per rider at the next ride. A quick scan around the parking lot and we found lady luck was on our side. We were able to enlist an honorary member for the New East Coast Syndicate for today's ride, Clem. One thing was guaranteed, we would rule the trails with this guy riding on the team. Heavy rains the night before assured us that this was going to be a classic mudfest. Rossi and I set off to scout out the course and sure enough it was muddy with this being one of the better sections and requiring an assist from the tree to ensure clearing the section without a spill. Having had enough of the swamplands, we both decided it was time to head off onto new trails and thus born out of the soaking wet loins and pulsating thighs of 650B and C-Dubs the latest trails "R-Dubs" which featured this small drop that if taken wrong assured the rider of a tumble down the rocky hillside of at least 12 feet before touchdown with mother earth. A couple of times through Skip & Bill's, the Campground Trail and a second run through R-Dubs and it was back to the cars for growler time! Well all of you Darkhorse riders (Shop Sidekick, Mayor, Hawaiian Mike) you missed some great riding, great beer and Rossi complaining about how his pedicure had been ruined.
This Sunday was the day where we all pay homage to our mother's and wives (that is if they are still with us or we are still married to them) by getting up early and making sure we are on the trails at least an hour earlier then usual so we can get back and provide all of the support and love the women in our lives deserve. For me it was just another Sunday where my loving wife, Beth, sent me off to a ride, I gave thanks to my long lost mother and really didn't think twice about my ex wife, got to ride with the gang and of course drink some of the finer yeasty malted beverages from the good old US of A. Finally back from the ravages of surgery, Top Chef was ready to go with 5 inches of plush travel and a pair of compression bib shorts that rivaled the corsets of the 1800's. After being off the bike for over 9 weeks we wanted to take it easy on our our cook and decided that today was going to be a day to bring out your dead - so off we headed for some of the oldest trails in Stewart, old friends that probably had not seen the knobs of a tire or the snot of a farmer's nose blow since the late '90s. The fun really began with the first puddle where Sven/Ingamar/Richard/Tom Rossi made a go at yours truly but with skills honed from hours in the dojo I sensed the sudden quickening of the cranks on the 650b machine and with a quick stab of the brakes left Mr. Rossi spraying water on no one but himself. Well this game continued for a while until suddenly during one of the many mind f@*k sessions around the water holes good old Shop Sidekick decided it was time to get in the game. After bit of the dicing around the water it was a quick right and we were onto the A/C trail, appropriately named as this is where all of the old air conditioners in Orange County go to retire and play shuffle board. Half way down the trail everything suddenly came to a stop as we hit the only turtle crossing in Stewart. While the Mayor was carefully picking the little guy up to move off the trail our Top Chef was into his camelbak pulling out the knives and drooling over the thought of a bit of turtle soup and IPA. A bit further down the trail we came upon the ghost of Mike Davidson past, this tasty black single speed beach bike (contrary to any rumors this was not an Independent Fabrication test frame) that we all agreed was the spirit of Hawaiian Mike himself. Well I took that bitch for a brief ride, tried to catch some air (failed) and then ran into a tree (absolute confirmation that it was HM's spirit). As the troops rode off into the distance Shop Sidekick and I enjoyed a quick rode of bike toss before sprinting back to the pack. The rest of the ride was dominated by the good old comraderie that years of riding together fosters and of course all of the reminders that Hawaiian Mike had once again failed to deliver on the promise of making it out with the guys. Once again we all found ourselves pondering what had become of our long lost friend and ex mountain bike rider Hawaiian Mike Davidson. Well friends we were all in agreement that it was some like this at Casa de Mike -
In the kitchen- Teacher's pet on the way to detention - Mother's day with the family - Getting the post ride "massage" -
It is with a tear in my eye that I have finally said farewell to an old friend, my first Independent Fabrication. This ti deluxe was, at that time, built to be the ultimate 100 mile wrist snapping race machine. Knowing that La Ruta was in the cards she was set up to run full rigid single, 1x9 or fully geared and with front suspension and over the course of her life she was raced in all forms. First making the rounds of the East Coast 100s as a single, then off to La Ruta as a 1x9 and finally in full rigid single speed configuration for the Cape Epic where she became the first single speed to ever enter let alone finish this 8 day epic. There was one more season as a single speed before my eyes strayed and fell in love with a babe with a pair of 29ers. Putting her in good hands was a primary concern and in stepped Footie taking ownership just 9 days before heading the the Cape Epic where she completed her second go at the plains and mountains of South Africa. Well the good times will not be forgotten and no doubt she and I will cross paths in the not to distant future but for now it is time to await the arrival of the newest arrow in my quiver - a Lefty steel deluxe single speed. "Beth" at the finish of the 2007 Cape Epic
Recently on the Darkhorse Racing blog there has been a spat of "interviews" conducted by Hawaiian Mike Davidson on behalf of the team. All of us on the team have been in awe in Mike's uncanny ability to uncover breaking news stories long before even members of the team have the inside scoop. Well a friend over at the Smoking Gun filled us in on just how he is getting the scoop - seems Mike's studly physique has caught the eye of none other then the original cougar, Katie Couric, and she has been spoon feeding these tidbits to Mike in exchange for a bit of young boy love. At a recent luncheon this Sunday at Trump Towers (now we know why Mike missed yet another ride for "Cub Scouts aka Cougar Scouts") seems the lovefest might have come to an end as you can see from Katie's look. Apparently there were words exchanged and it went something like this -
KC - purrrrrrr those love handles are getting me hot
HF - Hey get your hands off my doughnuts
KC - I'll put my hands on whatever nuts I want and if you don't shape up yours are going in a jar on the mantle with all the other sets I have ripped off of men's bodies
Right after this the lights went out, there was a lot of screaming and a couple of gun shots. Hawaiian Mike was seen stumbing out of Trump Towers and heading for the Metropolitian Opera to try out for the lead tenor slot
In the interest of all the recent green initiatives we here at the NECS/Darkhorse Racing Cycles have come up with a new, greener number plate for the Singlespeed-a-Palooza. This test model does not have all the details (racer number and picture) but we are searching the dumps of Stewart to find the nastiest, dirtiest thongs (Pleasure Island, our local flesh factory, has been able to provide the greatest quantity of number plates.) For this race Johns will be linked to customer thongs and beers at the halfway point are mandatory. Anyhow this beauty was test run over the length of the course with Sal's only comment "it was a bit snug fitting, can you get me a large".
Well loyal fans (Nico/Casey where have you been?) this weekend finally saw and end to the winter time blues and the sub 30 degree single speed rides. Here at the NECS when the seasons change it comes in like the hot kiss at the end of a wet fist and this weekend we saw temps sitting a full 50 degrees above last weekends trash fest with ideal riding in the upper 80s. With conditions like these there was no doubt that the troops would be out in full force. with some even being lured to the site with promises of early morning C-Dubs power snacks! But to no avail those in the know didn't show, Top Chef was still too bloated from the recent hernia surgery, and of course Hawaiian Mike was in rare winter training form as seem from this top secret shot. Never one to miss a ride, the Mayor, despite severe respritory aliments, managed to procure a Sunday pass from the State TB Ward (with backup documentation confirming it was not a case of the Swine Flu) and was able to hack up a lung cookie or two during the ride. And just to reassure all that the new world order is still intact the Mayor showed his uncanny ability to call the shots out on the course, even from the back of the pack. As a result of this we all had to be on the look out for Tom/Sven/Ingamar/Pedro Rossi whose favorite past time is to lurk back and wait for the waterhole before coming in full bore and giving someone (usually C-Dubs) the big mud shower. Well this weekend, despite having some patented C-Dubs power bars before the ride, I was able to keep the old fart at bay for most of the ride and it wasn't until he sprinted ahead on the fireroad that the payback came. With Rossi a 100 yards up the road the Mayor made the call "RIGHT" and off we went into Skip & Bill's, another sweet section of single track with a nice bridge. With Aikido like skills I dumped the bike and found the largest, flattest rock so when Rossi came to the bridge it was in mid flight and hit in a manner that put up a geyser similar to this. Needless to say Rossi was a bit wet and in good humor over the entire prank - but at what cost to me in Moab I have to ask? Finally back in the parking lot while having our fourth round of double IPAs, we were wondering about our ability to navigate our way home. Right about this time Sal whipped up the shirt and noted that he always keeps a map of the home state handy for just such an emergency. The only question we all had is where is the star showing the exit you live at - a major faux pau when tattooing your home state on the body.
To ensure that all guests at Casa de C-Dubs do not suffer the same fate as Top Chef (face down on the couch at 2 am with the bib shorts still on) we have decided to issue these Hannibal Wurster masks to limit the intake of fine wine and recovery bars.
When one is presented with the opportunity to use 6000+ acres of state forest for riding and to have virtually no restrictions on adding new trails at will, you like to make sure the mountain bike community is doing it's part to maintain this slice of Nirvana. This past Sunday was designated by the DEC as clean up day for the state forest. Aarmed with our beat up pickups, propane grill, meat and of course copious amounts of the finest yeasty malted beverages, the NECS & Darkhorse Cycles race team set off on a mission to clean the trails. What we learned from this archiealogical expedition is the following - hunters like beer, lots of beer, and they seem to favor the mini Budweiser bottles and an occasional Old Style. The mountain bikers seem to lean towards Corona and Sam Adams and the horsey set, well there we the occasional single malt bottles turning up. The mother lode of the entire expedition came at the Game Warden's station, so either the state employees like to eat chinese food and drink cheap beer or the hunters are really a bunch of pigs. Either way we cleaned the place up and in the end found this real kick ass fixie (with yours truly taking it for a test spin) that is potentially the grand prize for the Singlespeed-a-Palooza.
With the recent technology limits and budget caps being put in place to hold down the spiraling costs of competing in Formula One, Ferrari has has graciously offered to throw the full weight of their R&D department behind the 24 Hours of Moab effort. Rumors from the F1 paddock are that Ferrari's head Luca de Montezemolo, a big fan of the Snuggie, upon seeing the ad campaign, immediately committed all excess capacity at the factory to help with the development of Mike Davidson's fixie. Fearing the imbalance that could occur in cornering with one pony keg empty and the other full and Mike's ability to maintain balance when totally in the bag, Ferrari opted for the single full keg set up to optimize handling. To aide in faster lap times Ferrari's recently developed KERS (kinetic energy recovery system) will be employed, making use of energy created during braking (and Mike breaking wind) to keep the keg properly pressurized for optimal flow. Calculations from the engineers shows that Mike can save over 8 minutes per lap by not having to pump up the keg. This new super secret ride will be undergoing it's first test at Stewart on Easter Sunday.
Not satisfied with the handling of his new Niner One 9, (too many crashes on the opening ride and the fact that his son took back the tubing for his jungle gym), Hawaiian Mike and MacGyver, the Darkhorse Cycles Skunk Works Factory Development Team, have been hard at work in the basement creating a more stable frame geometry for the race. After a couple of laps around the neighborhood Mike was heard commenting "this thing is so stable I can pound Double Dead Guys on every lap and never crash". While capacity for water bottles is somewhat in doubt, The Mayor immediately noted that the rear platform was the perfect mounting point for a pair of pony kegs and is rumoured to be in negotiations to have a custom geometry 29er version built. Currently the biggest concerns being faced are the ability to adapt the Cycleops PowerTap's 32 spoke hub to the 12 spoke front wheel and how to sync up the rear disc brakes to ensure there is no brake induced spinouts. Further testing is slated to take place this weekend at Stewart with a big wheel version planned for the Porcupine Ridge ride scheduled to happen right after the race.
We here at the New East Coast Syndicate are wishing all the best to our seasoned singlespeed champion, Paul Livornese (aka Top Chef) who is going under the knife as this is being written. There seems to be a growing theme here with C-Dubs having his round last year, Top Chef in today and MacGyver going in for a bit of pipe cleaning next week! We wish for a speedy recovery to all and anticpate everyone being back in the saddle for the season. On the off chance on of our fearless riders has his chart mixed with another patient you might end up being chased down the trail by a crazed rider looking like this.
With word of the Darkhorse Racing/Beer Drinking team making the rounds of the mtb forums, major cycling publications have been bombarding the shop with calls for comments. It has gotten to the point where the Mayor find himself reaching for the tap everytime the phone rings. George was overheard at one point screaming "I can't take it anymore, now I know how the Octomom feels when she comes home with the kids." It has even gotten to the point where the dumpster is being scavenged for clues on team strategy and more importantly the bikes everyone will be racing. Rather then sell ourselves out to publications like The Star and National Enquirer, and to provide the Mayor with some peace and quiet, we have decided to release this super secret development photo of the Mayor's 24 Hour ride. MacGyver is still developing a derailleur hanger strong enough to support the weight of a full keg, which Mayor's coach has determined through prolonged training sessions, as the minimum fluid intake he will require per lap to stay properly hydrated. In the event MacGyver is unable to get either the titanium or unobtainium derailleur hangers to work, Shop Sidekick as come up with this beautiful baby. It is currently undgoing testing in Stewart State Forest to determine if it is a viable option for the narrow singletrack.
This month's feature rider is none other then Hawaiian Mike (aka The Guppy) out for his first mtb ride of the season. Mike assured us he would have been on the trails sooner but it took MacGyver and Mike a bit longer then planned to build that beautiful gold singlespeed. Apparently converting the Kohler Dual Flush into a rideable seat proved tougher then Mike planned and his kids put up one hell of a fight as he dismantled the jungle gym to obtain the proper strength tubing to handle all his man power. Mike, our hat is off to you for finally putting down the strudel and picking up the bike, making you the NECS March Stud Muffin.
Right on the heals of the earth shattering news of Snuggie being an offical sponsor of Dark Horse Cycle Racing for the 24 hours of Moab, Rogue breweries have thrown all their weight behind the effort and have promised to fuel the team's spirit with their top of the line spirit, Double Dead Guy Ale! The Mayor, seen below at the exclusive photoshoot for Rogue's new ad campagin was quoted saying "night laps are for the young punks. Being the Mayor, and senior citizen of the team, I have earned the right to suck down all the Double Dead Guy I want during the night." Geroge fully intends to assist on the night laps, throwing replacement battery packs to passing teammates.
In an effort to combat what we anticipate will be a very cold October night in the desert of Moab, Dark Horse Cycles Racing Team has been engaged in an all out effort to retain sponsorship to provide team members with the maximum in comfort. Rumors have been circulating in Velonews and the various mtb forums about a potential collaboration between Niner, NASA and Brooklyn Lager to ensure that riders will be warm but their beers will remain cold. Well loyal readers it is time to dispell all rumors and mystery and reveal our latest sponsor, seen here during a preliminary super secret test session - SNUGGIE!!!! The only concern expressed by The Mayor was who would get his beer once he settled in for the long session of night laps.
The gang at IF made bikes so beautiful they could be in a museum. Bottom line is if you don't put a leg over one of these fabulous frames you are already at a disadvantage.
Cycleops PowerTap
Providing the knowledge to unleash the power within
Wheels so sweet they would make BC jealous
Do you want to see me race naked?
Without Shimano there would be no forward progress in my life and if there was I won't be able to stop
Life
Chris Wurster
Just a regular guy that grinds it out in the world of corporate finance (no I don't work for AIG or any of the other banks that took taxpayer money)and derives pleasure and fun from racing & riding my IF bikes. Why Independent Fabrication - simple, they make a great bike.
This space is dedicated to those that have gone out too hard and imploded. Ride smart or you too will get your 15 minutes of fame.
Philosophy
At times life becomes to complicated, or at least we make it that way. To me, what we too often lose sight of is that life is to be lived to it's fullest and to have fun.
To accomplish this I throw a leg over my Independent Fabrication and set off seeking adventure and good times. It can range from a group ride to racing across distant countries.
In the end, while the competition is great, it is all about having fun!
Inspirational Posse
Beth Wurster - My wife, lover, best friend and biggest fan. Without all of her moral support, inspirational guidance and dietary expertise I would have never been able to experience all of the amazing rides and races that I have done. Beth sees the joy that all of this brings to me and is always there providing encouragement. To honor her I name all of my bikes after her.
Marci Titus Hall - My coach who I lovingly refer to as Marci de Sade. At times I think she knows me better then I do and for this reason I, as any good grunt, follow her training regime without question. Through her guidance I have seen results that I never believed possible and I have accomplished rides that I would have never thought possible. Marci, thank you.
Team Seagal - Superior attitude, superior state of mind. These guys have it hard wired for fun on the bike.
The New East Coast Syndicate Members
C-Dubs - Chris Wurster
Marci de Sade (Spiritual Guide and Supreme Coach) - Marci Titus-Hall
Mrs. C-Dubs - Beth Wurster
The Mayor (aka The Ewok of Moab) - George Zublasky
Giving The Weekly Pedicure
Cleaing Up His Man Cave
Post Dump Detox
Honey Do's
More Honey Do's
And Even More Honey Do's
Paying The Price For Not Folding The Laundry Correctly
